Stef – We need to talk!!

I thought this would be my tomorrow morning post. But as the thoughts have come to me through the day, I lost the willpower to wait. We lost my brother-in-law Stef way too early. Fourteen years ago, at the age of 38, Colon Cancer took Stef to see Jesus. Stef left behind a beautiful wife, my sister Sandi, and 3 of the most precious children you can imagine – Derek (then 9), Justin (then 6), Carley (then 3). Stef loved his family second only to how he loved his Jesus. As he spent those last 17 months after his diagnosis, his main concerns were not his health – they were his family. Would they be cared for the way he would care for them. Who would teach his children what they needed to know the way he would. Who would walk his beautiful daughter down the aisle with the same massive smile he would’ve had on his face. Who would celebrate each and every success his children had the way he would have. Who would comfort his children the way he would when they hurt. Who would wrap their arms around his wife and love her the way he would. So many concerns, too little time. I knew Stef, I loved Stef. He and I did a number of projects around his house and mine. Stef and I golfed together, including a couple of golf trips to Myrtle Beach. I enjoyed Stef because Stef was an amazing man. I will never forget where I was on Route 40 in Tennessee when I got the call about Stef’s diagnosis. I cried. I hurt. I watched the man I loved as my brother-in-law fight his battle with a tenacity that would have made the greatest of warriors proud. He fought until his breath was taken. I had the opportunity to speak at his funeral. I was hurting. I promised Stef to care for his family the way he would have. I’ve tried, but Stef’s standard was high. Now I have Stage IV Prostate Cancer. Now I want to talk to Stef. I want to pick him up, take him to Starbucks, and talk – well mostly ask. I have so many questions. Stef, what would you do different if you knew then what you know now? Stef, how did you handle wondering if every pain you felt was more cancer? Stef, do you wish you had tried any treatments that you passed on? Stef, how much did it hurt to leave – your wife, your babies, your family, your friends? Stef, what is heaven like. I think Stef and I could talk for hours. And knowing Stef, every answer would be well thought out, beautifully articulated and perfect. Stef, as I travel this path, I need your insight. I need your knowledge. I need to hear you say it’s going to be ok. Stef – tell me when you’re available and I’ll clear my schedule. Stef – we need to talk!!

2 responses to “Stef – We need to talk!!”

  1. Jimmy – I’m crying my eyes out with that one. As you know, Stef was one of my best friends and you captured him magnificently!!!

    I’m praying for you. Fight my man FIGHT!


    1. Thank you Steve. I know Stef loved you like a brother!! Thank you for keeping me in your prayers!!


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