Why….

Yesterday I had a moment. Laying back in the barber chair. Head being shaved – to beat Chemo at its game. Beard being trimmed. Me, basically being spoiled. That my mind said – why? Not – why am I going through this. Not – why did Chemo make my hair fall out. Not – Why Me. But – Why are you trusting me with this Jesus. Why are you making my story so big. Why are you blessing me with the words to say in this blog. Why do you love me so much Jesus. And the answer I grasped was “It’s not about me..it’s through me”. I am but one of so many that are suffering through something. Pain. Hurt. Anguish. But Jesus has carried me above it. Jesus has given me a spirit of love. A spirit of compassion. A spirit of understanding. There may be one person I can touch. One person I can share my story with – that needs to hear what Jesus can do. One person makes it worth it. But what if instead of one person – it’s one each year. Or maybe one each month. Or each week. Or each day. One person encouraged. One person’s tears dried. One person’s load lightened. Then – my journey. This cancer path I travel. Is worth it. It’s totally worth it. Because I have the opportunity to share – to help – in a way I haven’t before. God has called me to the front. Helped me dress in the armor I will need. Handed over the weapons that will lead to a victory. And sent me on this mission. A mission to use this journey to make me a better man. A mission to help others that suffer. Whether my words of encouragement. My prayers. Or simply a smile when some needs it. My journey. This is my journey. Toward God.

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